It’s been so long, I could barely find my own blog on the WordPress interface. My previous post was written in May, last year.

Since then, I’ve been busy living, learning, exploring. I’ve had ideas for this blog, but they were sad and not good enough. They didn’t match the life I was living, or so I thought. I dismissed them all.

I was happy. That song, stuck in a moment, no longer represented me. It no longer does.

I would often look back and realise how much I had learnt, how stronger and wiser I had become. Sometimes I fear I am still far from being wise. There’s still so much work to be done.

The end of the year had cast a shadow over all that. The lessons I’m learning now are lessons I didn’t need to learn. Yes, this is making me stronger, yet, at the same time, selfish and bitter. My life wasn’t perfect, but I was working on making it better. Now, my life has fallen into a category I do not like, with certain labels and compromises I am not fond of.

I have no answer and no outcome I can possibly imagine brings me any joy or comfort.