Yesterday…I was floating. I felt all the molecules in my body vibrating in a weightless manner. My muscles hurt. My skin felt different…strange…distant…as if it wasn’t mine anymore. And I just stood there in a corner amazed by my own transformation. I’ve lost contact with the rest of the world…And since then…I keep trying to adapt, to live as I used to pretending that nothing ever happened. I remember how it used to be. It just doesn’t come naturally anymore.
Today…life struck me in a brutal way. No warning, no smooth passage. It hit me with its fundamental, yet rudimentary, pains. My soul bleeds. I’m blinded by the colours of this world. It’s too much to bear sometimes…
„Do you ever feel that life has passed you by?”
„No, I feel that it knocked me down and then ran over me…”
I dreamt of heaven last night. It’s difficult to wake up in hell and keep moving.
„And I’ve never met anyone quite like you before
Oh, up, down, turn around; please don’t let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I walk alone, to find my soul desire to go home”
I’m smoking my last cigarette on this afternoon spying the people in the street. My nextdoor neighbour is sitting on the balcony. She seems sad. Oh, she lost her kitty some time ago. I wonder if that’s the reason why…I kindda miss it too. Funny, yeah, it looked nice. Little ball of fur climbing the trees. One morning I found it scratching my kitchen window. Yup, she’s cute. If I knew she’s normal, I would ask her out…maybe…someday. Who needs kitties anyway?